Can Asexuals Fall In Love?

Although asexual people do not experience sexual attraction, that does not necessarily mean that they do not experience romantic emotions.  As most people know, love does not equal sex, so it’s possible to fall in love with someone and not be interested in having sex with them.

I’ve written about my personal experience with love, as well as a more general overview of the types of attraction, including romantic attraction and orientation.


Can Asexuals Have Children?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation and it has nothing to do with fertility.  Asexual people are just as fertile and capable of producing offspring as non-asexual people.  It still takes two, though.  We’re not capable of mitosis or budding or parthenogenesis or anything like that.

Can Asexual Men Get Erections?

Asexuality is not a physical condition.  It’s not a synonym for erectile dysfunction or impotence.  Most asexual males have a fully operational penis that is capable of erection (as well as all of the other things the phrase “fully operational penis” implies).

Can Asexuals Masturbate?

For the most part, yes.  Most asexual people have working parts downstairs, and that typically means that they are capable of self-stimulation and orgasm.  There is nothing about asexuality that somehow prevents masturbation, and someone who masturbates is not somehow “disqualified” from being asexual.

Read this post for more information.

Can Asexuals Have Sex?

In general, yes, asexuals are physically capable of having sex.  Asexuality is a sexual orientation and has no bearing on sexual ability. There are no physical characteristics inherent in asexuality.  Asexual people typically have functioning genitalia which is indistinguishable from that of a non-asexual person.  It is possible that an asexual person is physically unable to have sex, but if that is the case, then it is the result of some other condition and not the result of asexuality.

Now, that’s not to say that asexual people necessarily want to have sex.  Physical ability and willingness are two very different concepts.  Many asexuals, despite having functioning genitalia, have no interest in using that genitalia with anyone else.

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation.  Unlike heterosexuality, where people are sexually attracted to the opposite sex, or homosexuality, where people are sexually attracted to the same sex, asexual people are not sexually attracted to anyone.  It’s not an inability to have sex, it’s not celibacy or abstinence, it’s not a temporary “dry spell”, and it’s not a fear of sex.

If you’d like to learn more, you’re at the right place.  This site is all about asexuality.  I’d reccommend starting with “Q & Ace: An Introduction to Asexuality“, then branching out from there.

The Asexuality Flag

This is the Asexuality Flag.

The need for a flag was driven primarily by the desire to have a symbol that belongs to all of us, something that we could use to identify as ace and represent asexuality with that was not tied to a specific group. Prior to its adoption, people would use things like the AVEN triangle or a half-filled heart, but those had problems which prevented their wider adoption. The AVEN triangle is, well, the AVEN triangle. It’s the logo of a single website that not every asexual person is affiliated with. The half-filled heart implies romance, which meant that many aromantics were uncomfortable using it.

In the Summer of 2010, a number of asexuality sites, led by users on AVEN, came up with a number of designs for an asexuality flag, then held a multi-stage vote to determine the winner.

The selected design was created by AVEN user standup, and first posted at 4:36 PM on June 30th, 2010.

Some of the other designs included hearts and spades and triangles and all manner of other symbols.  Some of the designs looked like country flags.  In the end, the simple, four-bar design was chosen.  This design avoids the unwanted connotations that specific symbols like a triangle or heart might have, it avoids any hint of national affiliation, and perhaps most importantly, it fits in with the striped designs of most other GSM pride flags.

(Plus, it’s really easy to draw.)

The four colors all have meanings:

  • Black:  Asexuality.
  • Grey: Grey-Asexuality and Demisexuality.
  • White: Non-asexual partners and allies.
  • Purple: Community.

Since the flag was selected in 2010, its use has exploded.  You can get buttons and bumper stickers and clothes with the flag on it.  It’s been seen at pride parades around the world, and some flag makers now offer it for sale.  Many asexuality related websites or blogs now incorporate the flag into their design.  And, of course, people have even made ace flag cakes.  Additionally, the black-grey-white-purple color scheme has been adopted by many aces as a way of indicating their asexuality.  I’ve seen ace shirts, ace nail polish, ace friendship bracelets, ace headbands, and ace scarves.  Even the logo of this site incorporates these four colors.

For more information:

You can trace the progression of designs and the voting process through these threads over at AVEN:

Here’s some shots of the flag in the wild: