How Come You Haven’t Cured Cancer With All Your Free Time?

I’ve heard this idea a number of different places, that somehow, asexuals have so much free time (because, as the story goes, we don’t spend as much time thinking about, seeking, or engaging in sexual activities) that we should all be amazingly accomplished.  According to some people, we should be building the unbuildable, solving the unsolvable, and conquering the impossible.  Often, great works of art are mentioned.  We should be painting masterpieces, composing exquisite symphonies, and writing novels would make Shakespeare and Hemingway rise from the grave to personally award us the Nobel Prize for Literature.  Sometimes people demand technological leaps like flying cars or warp drives or great humanitarian feats like ending hunger or making world peace.  But the thing we’re most expected to be doing with all our free time is finding a cure for cancer.

Because apparently, that’s how it works.

Free Time = Cure For Cancer.

BINGO!  Just like that.  That’s all it takes.

Let’s take a look at this claim, shall we?

First, on the face of it, it’s utterly preposterous.  In my case, with my free time, I collect video games and occasionally dabble in stereophotography.  Sometimes, I’ll even combine the two hobbies (as shown below).  But I know nothing about cancer.

L IS REAL 2401 — In 3D!

Let’s review:

  1. Knowledge of Vintage Video Games — Immense.
  2. Knowledge of Stereophotography — Practical, but limited.
  3. Knowledge of Oncology — Nil.

You can see how that might be a bit of a problem when it comes to my ability to discover a cure for cancer…  Unless it involves ColecoVision games, it ain’t happening.

 

Beyond that, what does that assertion say about people who aren’t asexual?  Apparently, a cure for cancer is just out there, ripe for the picking, and all it’s going to take is for someone to stop thinking about sex long enough to find it.  You’re telling me that there haven’t been ANY research scientists who’ve given it up for the cause?  They’re all so selfish that they’re willing to condemn millions of people to death, just because they’re that obsessed with sex?  “Well, I could find the cure if Rihanna weren’t so hot!”

Somehow, I don’t buy that.

Really, if all it took were devoting the time you’d normally spend thinking about sex toward finding a cure, cancer would’ve been cured long ago by some horny playboy who figured this out:

  • Giving up sex for a while = Lots of free time
  • Lots of free time = Cure for cancer
  • Cure for cancer = Instant mega celebrity
  • Instant mega celebrity = All the sex I want, when I want it, with pretty much whoever I want, for the rest of my life.

And yet, no one’s taken that deal?

 

Let’s dive further into this argument, shall we?  Whenever someone tries to make this claim, it’s always the extra free time that leads to the magnificent accomplishments.  It’s never some mystical power of celibacy or some side effect of freeing up neurons that are typically devoted to sexual fantasy.  It’s simply having more time to work on the problem.

So, why is it always a lack of sex that has to provide all that extra free time?   Why not something else?  I’d be willing to wager that there are a number of things that people do on a daily basis that take more time than dealing with sex does.  So, couldn’t non-asexual people drop one of those activities and have as much (if not more) free time than an asexual supposedly gets from being sexless?  For many people, their daily commute probably takes up more time than sex does.  If that’s the case, why doesn’t somebody keep the sex, work from home, and use all that spare time to cure cancer.  Hell, just think about all the incredible and amazing things that unemployed people must be doing all day!

(Then again, maybe they’d just fill that extra time gained by working from home or skipping reruns of Pawn Stars or whatever with more sex, which would defeat the purpose…  I’m asexual, so I don’t know how that all works.)

 

Clearly, everyone should be offended by the suggestion.  Asexuals should be offended because it’s clearly a snide and dismissive insult.  Non-asexuals should be offended because it implies that they’re all enslaved by what’s in their pants to the point that they can’t even resist it if it meant that they’d be able to cure cancer.  It’s just a ridiculous notion all around.

 

Then again, I did write a book in my free time…

Asexuality Questionnaire #8b.1: Masturbation

IMPORTANT:  If you are under 18, skip this questionnaire.  Return to the main questionnaire page and answer some others instead.

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

This questionnaire is for asexuals who do not masturbate.  If you are asexual and masturbate, please head to the other questionnaire.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. What are your thoughts about masturbation?
  2. Why don’t you masturbate?
  3. Have you masturbated or tried to masturbate in the past and stopped for some reason?  Why?
  4. If you never have, would you be willing to do so at some point in the future?
  5. Have you ever looked for information about masturbation, such as how-to guides?
This survey is currently disabled.

Asexuality Questionnaire #8a.2: Masturbation

IMPORTANT:  If you are under 18, skip this questionnaire.  Return to the main questionnaire page and answer some others instead.

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

This questionnaire is for asexuals who masturbate.  If you are asexual and do not masturbate, please head to the other questionnaire.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. How often do you do masturbate?
  2. Do you use sex toys?
  3. Have you ever looked for information about masturbation, such as how-to guides or ideas of other techniques?
  4. Do you feel that someone who masturbates is less asexual than someone who does not?  Why or why not?
  5. How do you respond to the claim that someone who masturbates can’t be asexual?
This survey is currently disabled.

Asexuality Questionnaire #8a.1: Masturbation

IMPORTANT:  If you are under 18, skip this questionnaire.  Return to the main questionnaire page and answer some others instead.

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

This questionnaire is for asexuals who masturbate.  If you are asexual and do not masturbate, please head to the other questionnaire.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. What are your thoughts about masturbation?
  2. Why do you masturbate?
  3. Do you enjoy it?
  4. What do you think of while doing masturbating?  Do you fantasize about anything?
  5. When did you start?  Why did you first masturbate?
This survey is currently disabled.

Asexuality Questionnaire #7.3: Words

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. If you have never had sex or have not had sex for a considerable amount of time, do you feel that the word “celibate” describes you?  If so, why?  If not, why not?
  2. If you have never had sex or have not had sex for a considerable amount of time, do you feel that the word “abstinent” describes you?  If so, why?  If not, why not?
  3. If you have never had sex or have not had sex for a considerable amount of time, do you feel that the word “chastity” describes you?  If so, why?  If not, why not?
  4. If you have never had sex or have not had sex for a considerable amount of time, do you feel that the word “sexfree” describes you?  If so, why?  If not, why not?
This survey is currently disabled.

Asexuality Questionnaire #7.2: Words

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. What do you think about words used to describe people who are not asexual, like “sexual”, “allosexual”, “consexual”, “verisexual”, “zedsexual”, etc.?  Do you use them?  Do you avoid them? If you use one, which one do you use and why?  If you do not use one, why not?
  2. What do you think about words like “hot” or “sexy”, etc.?  Do you use them?  Do you avoid them?  Do you feel that you understand or experience them the same way or differently than others?
  3. What do you think about words like “horny” or “turned on”, etc.?  Do you use them?  Do you avoid them?  Do you feel that you understand or experience them the same way or differently than others?
  4. What do you think about words like “prude” or “frigid”, etc.?  Do you use them?  Do you avoid them?  Do you feel that you understand or experience them the same way or differently than others?
  5. What do you think about words like “squish” or “crush”, etc.?  Do you use them?  Do you avoid them?  Do you feel that you understand or experience them the same way or differently than others?
  6. What do you think about words like “virgin”, etc.?  Do you use it?  Do you avoid it?  Do you feel that you understand or experience it the same way or differently than others?
  7. What do you think about words like “ace” or “asexy”, etc.?  Do you use them?  Do you avoid them?  Do you feel that you understand or experience them the same way or differently than others?
This survey is currently disabled.

Asexuality Questionnaire #7.1: Words

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. Are there words you feel a connection with due to some aspect of asexuality or how you experience it?
  2. Are there words you feel a disconnection from due to some aspect of asexuality or how you experience it?
  3. Are there concepts that you feel are missing words to describe them, that would better explain some aspect of asexuality or how you experience it?
This survey is currently disabled.

Asexuality Questionnaire #6: Dealing With Ignorant Comments

If you have not already done so, please stop off at the main questionnaire page for important information about the intent of these questionnaires.

This questionnaire contains a list of ignorant (and potentially hurtful) remarks that have been used against asexual people.  For each comment, if you’ve ever encountered someone who has used it, please talk about who they were, the situation in which it was used, and how you reacted (or wish you’d reacted), and how it made you feel.  Also, even if you haven’t encountered it, please give what you feel would be an effective rebuttal to someone who does use it.

I’ve seen people talk about offensive remarks and filling out bingo cards and all that, but outside of a couple of SwankIvy’s videos, I’ve never really seen anyone talk about what to do when you’re on the receiving end of them.  My goal for this particular questionnaire is to be able to build up a set of responses that other asexuals can use, so they’ll be prepared when someone throws one of these their way.

Thank you for your interest, but this survey is now closed!  We are no longer accepting responses at this time.  If you’re curious, here’s what the questions were:

  1. “You just haven’t met the right person.”
  2. “How can you be sure if you haven’t tried?”

  3. “You’re just a late bloomer.”
  4. “That’s not what the word means.”
  5. “It’s not real.”
  6. “Were you abused or assaulted?”
  7. “It’s just a phase.”
  8. “It’s slut-shaming.”
  9. “It’s so noble that you’re saving yourself.”
  10. “Maybe you’re really gay and afraid to admit it.”
  11. “You’re just afraid of sex.”
  12. “You’re missing out.”
  13. “If you’re not having sex, you’re just friends.”
  14. “You’re so lucky.  You don’t have to deal with relationship troubles.”
  15. “You should get your hormones checked.”
  16. “Are you religious?”
  17. “I was like that at your age.”
  18. “There’s a pill for that.”
  19. “One night with me will fix that.”
  20. “You can’t be asexual because you’ve [insert activity here].”
  21. Are there any other ignorant comments that you’ve heard which were not included here?
This survey is currently disabled.