Q: Do you believe asexuals are truly oppressed for being asexual (like other members of the lgbt+ are?). I mean, no one has been killed or kicked out of their home for being asexual. The orientation may get mocked, but that’s not true oppression.

I’ve written about this subject here.

On the one hand, I don’t really understand the obsession with oppression as being the only way membership in the LGBT+ community is legitimate.  Certainly, oppression is terrible. However, oppressive systems are being actively dismantled on an almost daily basis (Congrats, Ireland, BTW!), and there are many places where gays or lesbians, etc., would not face oppression in their daily lives.  Are you trying to say that when oppression is gone, the LGBT+ community disappears?

(And keep in mind, context is important.  Certainly, while there are victories in places like Ireland, there are setbacks in places like Russia.  But you can’t really claim that someone living in an open and free place is oppressed, simply because someplace else in the world, they’d be oppressed.  If you try and go down that route, then a White Christian American who lives in Indiana would be considered oppressed because white people are getting attacked in Zimbabwe, Christians are getting killed in Syria and Iraq, and Americans would be thrown in jail in North Korea.  I do not believe that a White Christian American who lives in Indiana should be considered oppressed on those grounds, because that would be a patently absurd statement to make.)

Beyond that, I take considerable exception to the claim that no asexuals have ever been killed for being asexual.  I believe that some asexuals are the victims of sexual violence, including murders, because of their asexuality.  There are certainly cases where people have been beaten, raped, or murdered for saying no to sex.  In many of these cases, the victim is asexual and they’re saying no to sex because they’re asexual.  Now, I also believe that this aspect is largely invisible, because in many cases, the victims don’t even know that they’re asexual.  As far as I know, no studies have ever been done in this area, and I feel this is something that desperately needs to be looked into.  This is a silent tragedy that increased awareness of asexuality and resources for asexual people could help to address.

Also, although it’s not directly related to the original topic, with where I turned the conversation, I feel that I would be remiss without mentioning the site Resources For Ace Survivors, which is a resource for ace spectrum survivors of sexual violence, in case that’s something someone reading this needs.