Please note:  All surveys are currently disabled while the responses are being analyzed.  Thank you for your interest!

Welcome to my multi-part asexuality questionnaire.  My aim is to dive into the thoughts and experiences of asexual and ace spectrum people.  I want to try to produce a rich picture of what it means to be asexual, to explore asexuality in its own words.

I’m doing this through a series of questionnaires.  Each one will have a number of questions around a specific theme.   Some of the questions may be fun.  Some of the questions may be awkward.  Some of the questions may be thought-provoking.  Some of the questions may be difficult to answer.  I’m going to ask a wide range of questions, because asexuality is a wide ranging thing.  If I limit the questions I ask, I’ll only end up with a partial view of how people experience asexuality and life as an asexual.

After a while, I’ll collect some of the answers you’ve all given into a post on the topic.  These posts will attempt to explore the diversity of asexuality, so the more diverse the answers, the better the posts will be able to represent a true sense of how asexuals feel.  Eventually, I hope to collect these posts into another book about asexuality.  (So yes, this is all just a devious plan to get other people to write my next book for me!)

I was somewhat inspired, ironically enough, by the Hite Report.  It collected the experiences of hundreds of people and presented them as written.  It didn’t try to be a textbook, it simply tried to be a catalog of feelings and experiences.  I’ve also been inspired by the “30 Day Asexuality Challenge” I see people filling out.  It’s 30 questions about asexuality, and I see person after person pouring their life story into their responses.  …  Only to have those responses lost to the ether.  No one’s collecting them and bringing them together to say “This is what asexuality is”.

If you have any issues with the questions being asked, or have any questions you’d like to see be asked, or if you have any other comments about the project, please let me know.

Before you begin, please note:

  • Tell me your story. I want to know about your life. Don’t treat this as a test, where the “right” answer is only acceptable answer.  I’m not looking for the textbook response here. The only right answer is your answer, whatever it may be.
  • Answers can be as short or as long as you need them to be. (But please make them longer than just “yes” or “no”.) Please consider all questions to be open ended, so please don’t feel constrained or limited by the question and please provide as much information as you feel comfortable providing.  You’re also free to fill out each questionnaire multiple times.
  • Speak your mind and don’t censor yourself.
  • There are no “wrong” answers and there are no “boring” answers.  Even if you answer every question with “No, I haven’t”, I’ll learn something from it.
  • You do not have to answer every question.  There’s nothing wrong with leaving some of the answers blank if you don’t want to answer them.
  • As this survey is designed to gather experiences and opinions of asexual spectrum people, please only participate if you are asexual, demisexual, gray-asexual, or otherwise fit on the spectrum. Unless a question notes that it is specifically about asexual people to the exclusion of demisexuals and gray-asexuals, please assume that all uses of the words “asexual” or “asexuality” are inclusive of the entire spectrum.

The Questions:

Please note:  All surveys are currently disabled while the responses are being analyzed.  Thank you for your interest!

Questionnaire #1: General Asexuality Questions

Questionnaire #2: Coming Out:  Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Questionnaire #3: Sex (Over 18 only, please!): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Questionnaire #4: Community and Visibility: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Questionnaire #5: Relationships: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Questionnaire #6: Dealing With Ignorant Comments

Questionnaire #7: Words: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Questionnaire #8: Masturbation (Over 18 only, please!)  This one is split into two separate questionnaires.  Please take only one.

  • For asexuals who do not masturbate: Part 1
  • For asexuals who masturbate:  Part 1 | Part 2


The Summaries:

These questionnaire summaries are posts that were written with the help of the questionnaire responses.  I couldn’t have written these without you, so thank you for taking your time to answer!

Coming Out – Experiences

Coming Out – Advice


Answers will be kept anonymous, but NOT confidential. Answers may be used in a blog post, a book, as well as potentially other asexuality awareness materials. The answers may also be shared with others for similar purposes. Answers may be edited for spelling, grammar, etc., but will not be edited for content.  Answering the questionnaire is not a guarantee that your responses will be used.

This survey is not intended to be scientific and statistical inferences will not be drawn from the results.

No payment, credit, or attribution of any kind will be provided to anyone for the use of their responses. (Sorry, that means no free copies.)

7 thoughts on “Questionnaire

  1. Can you let me know what you end up doing with this? I’d love to read it if any of this gets published.

    This survey actually helped me organize my thoughts a lot. The questions helped me look more critically at some of my experiences, and I feel like I understand myself a little better now. Thanks for that! :)

    • There’s AVEN (, various Facebook groups, the #asexual and #asexuality tags on Tumblr, /r/asexuality on Reddit, and there’s a site called “Ace Book” that I’ve never actually signed up for.

  2. Would you accept answers on your questionnaire from a slightly sapiophilic demisexual or do you just want people who are ace?

  3. Is there anything still being done with this questionnaire? Did the answers get bundled or was there some “general conclusion” to keep things anonymous? So far only the coming out bits I’ve seen, but I’m curious towards the other themes.

    • Sadly, the project fell apart because I didn’t have the motivation or energy to deal with some issues at the time. (And the software I was using was absolutely terrible…)
      I got a lot of answers, but I got a lot of spam, I got a lot of responses that were mangled by the software, and I got a lot of random hate, too.

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