Many people who are asexual will have doubts about whether or not they’re actually asexual at some point in time. For some, it’s before they’ve embraced asexuality and the doubts stand in the way of recognizing that they’re ace, while for others, the doubts emerge after they’ve discovered that they’re ace and the doubts make them wonder if they’re really asexual after all.
Doubts are common. It’s okay to doubt. The doubts may never go away.
The doubts may usher in a new period of self discovery, or the doubts may simply be a temporary nuisance, the result of misinformation.
This series explores some common doubts that I’ve heard ace people express about their asexuality. Sometimes I will ask questions. Sometimes I will provide information. This is meant to be a guidepost on your journey, a tool to help you find your way, but it is not meant to provide all the answers. It is ultimately up to you to resolve these doubts on your own, as you are the only person who truly knows how you feel.
And it’s okay if you change how you see yourself or change how you identify after digging into a doubt. You weren’t wrong before, you weren’t faking it or lying to people. You just had an incomplete picture of who you are, and now that you know more, you are able to understand and present yourself in a more accurate way.
In general, my advice for any doubt is to take a step back and look at things from a somewhat outside perspective. How do you compare to other people, the way they act, the things they say? Are you like them, or is there a fundamental difference in your experience?An Exploration of Doubts
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because It Might Be A Disorder Making Me Feel This Way
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I’ve Fallen In Love
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because Isn’t Everyone Like This?
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I Haven’t Tried It Yet To Be Sure
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I Have No Idea What Sexual Attraction Is So How Do I Know If I’m Feeling It Or Not
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I Get Aroused Sometimes
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I’m Curious About Sex
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual But It’s Really Just My Religious Upbringing
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual But I Have A Hormone Imbalance
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual But I Just Haven’t Met The Right Person Yet
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I’ve Had Sex
- Maybe I’m Not Really Asexual Because I Masturbate
I understand asexuality, but. . .
I don’t understand what would make someone attracted to me. Is it my looks? Is it my hair? Is it my lack of eye contact? Is it my shy smile? Is it my quiet laugh? Is it my awkwardness in general? Or I don’t understand if they’re really just trying to get to know me better.
i don’t know if people still visit this page and if i get a response, but i have another doubt. can i be asexual and still think that people are attractive? i mean for example a situation when i see a person and think ‘wow, they look so good, they’re beautiful’, i can even consider them ‘hot’, but i don’t think about having sex with them, i don’t want to have sex with them.
Acadexxx: think of it as art appreciation. You can appreciate art being beautiful and admire the skill without being an artist. So yes, you can still be ace and find people beautiful. Breathe. You’re fine.
Maybe thats called demisexuality? When you feel sexually attracted to someone only and only when you’re emotionally bonded with them? So Ofcourse if you find someone hot, you wouldn’t be emotionally connected to him/her. So maybe its the demisexuality?