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Quite a few people don’t want to call themselves asexual, because they don’t feel they can know for sure until after they try having sex and see how it goes. There are several ways to address this doubt.
First, you can go through with it. That would provide a definite answer one way or another. If you decide to take this route, I would strongly suggest taking steps to ensure that the experience is the best it can be. You will want to be able to view it as a positive learning experience, even if it turns out that sex wasn’t for you after all. Don’t rush into a situation you know you’ll regret later, just because it’s available. If there’s anything about a situation that feels off or makes you feel uncomfortable, then don’t do it. If you’re not into it (or at least consentingly neutral for the sake of experimentation), then you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a terrible experience, and there’s almost certainly nothing magical that’s going to make it all perfect and shiny. Also, don’t let yourself get caught in the trap of “Maybe next time it’ll be different.”
However, before going that direction, take a step back and think about why you think it might make a difference to try it out. Many other aces have had sex, and found that it didn’t change anything. And remember that being asexual doesn’t mean you have to dislike sex. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, not an opinion on sex. (Although many people do find that asexuality strongly influences their opinion on sex.)
If you feel you have to try it because other people have told you that it’s some sort of test of whether or not you’re truly asexual, well, those other people are wrong. You don’t have try something to know it’s not your thing. You don’t have to go skydiving to know you’re not interested, you don’t have to hug a cactus to know it wouldn’t be something you’d find pleasant, you don’t have to get a pet snake to know that reptiles aren’t your deal. To bring it back to sexual orientations, a person can know for sure that they’re straight without needing to have had gay sex to prove it’s not something they’re into. Hell, a person can know for sure that they’re straight without even needing to have had straight sex to prove it. You don’t have to have sex just to prove that it’s not something you’re into.
If you feel you have to try it because you think an orgasm or the physical sensations might change your mind, consider the following: Having sex is no guarantee of orgasm, and masturbation is an effective and reliable means of obtaining one without needing to involve someone else. If you’ve never had an orgasm through masturbation, give that a shot first. Knowing how your body responds and what works will go a long way towards making the experience better if you ever decide to have sex with someone else. And if you have had an orgasm, do you think it’s going to make that much difference to have someone else involved? The physical sensations will be about the same, so what do you think the emotional difference will mean to you? Do you think that will be a clarifying and determinative factor for you? Do you need to perform a physical act to get that emotional clarity?
If you think that sex is scary or disgusting or there’s some other emotional stoplight in the way, and you feel that having sex might get you past that point to a clear road ahead, stop and take a look at why you look at sex that way. If you could eliminate whatever it is that’s there, if sex didn’t have that characteristic, would that change the way you feel? Would you become more interested or would you still probably be ambivalent? And keep in mind that you don’t have to be asexual just because you’re repulsed or averse towards sex, and you don’t have to be repulsed or averse towards sex just because you’re asexual. Many people assume that those go hand in hand. Indeed, for many aces, those feelings are strongly linked. But you can be one or the other and not need to be both. It’s possible for a person to be sexually attracted to people, yet also feel that sex is a repulsive, unpleasant act they want nothing to do with. It’s also possible to be asexual, yet also feel that sex is the best thing since color TV.
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