Ace/Aro Con NYC 2019: Session 4: Queer Group Outreach

(Note: Session 3 was a working meeting and there’s no summary for it.)

  • People were worried about negative reactions when reaching out to queer groups, but negative reactions are rare.
  • Being ignored is common, but don’t assume intent behind being ignored. It’s possible the email was lost, the coordinator was busy, etc. If you’re ignored, try again.
  • When looking for strategies for dealing with anti-ace people, look for strategies for dealing with TERFs, because they’re usually the same people, same tactics.
  • Remember that you often can’t change the minds of entrenched assholes, so focus on those who haven’t been corrupted by hate yet.
  • Block liberally. You don’t owe assholes your time or energy.
  • Online, people are horrible. Off-line, people are usually accepting and welcoming.
  • Be visible if you can be. Many ways to be visible, stickers, shirts, marching in a parade, casually mentioning it to people. Having an ace presence matters, it shows people we exist and shows other aces that we exist.
  • You’re not responsible for completely educating others, but guiding them can help. Have a set of websites, videos, etc., personally curated content that’s relevant to you, and pass that along to people who are interested. Don’t have them do their own research or just drop them at the AVEN forums and wish them luck, because that won’t help.
  • Sometimes the upper levels of a group may be bureaucratic and resist inclusion, but lower levels are often supportive and recognize the need.
  • Hosting a brown bag at a local queer org can be helpful for reaching out.
  • Many queer groups want to be more ace inclusive but don’t know how.
  • Don’t assume that if a group leaves out the “A” that they’re being deliberately exclusive. Sometimes they think the Q or the + is enough. Sometimes they haven’t updated their website in years. Sometimes they just don’t understand but are willing to.
  • Sometimes just being there matters. “We’re here and that’s all there is to it.”
  • Sexual liberation means nothing if it doesn’t include the freedom to say “no”.

Is Sex Not Really Your Thing?

Are you not all that interested in sex?  Maybe there’s a reason for that.


Transcript:

Do you have little to no interest in sex?
Is your sex drive stuck in neutral?
Are you not straight, not gay, not bi, not really anything?
Do you think sex is dull and boring?
Haven’t slept with anyone in years and that’s not a problem for you?
Do you never consider anyone “hot” or “sexy”?
Do you feel like you’re “straight by default”?
When people talk about sex, is it almost like they’re speaking a foreign language?
Are you more interested in sex as a scientific curiosity than a recreational activity?
Is your right hand all the sex life you need?
Ever feel like you’re supposed to like sex because everyone else does?
Have you ever been asked who you think is hot and needed to make up an answer?
Does sex feel like a sport you’re not a fan of?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions…
You are not broken. You are not alone.
You may be asexual.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation.
It is not a disorder. It is not a disease.
It’s just the way we are.

For more information, please visit WhatIsAsexuality.com or AsexualityArchive.com