Is Sex Not Really Your Thing?

Are you not all that interested in sex?  Maybe there’s a reason for that.


Do you have little to no interest in sex?
Is your sex drive stuck in neutral?
Are you not straight, not gay, not bi, not really anything?
Do you think sex is dull and boring?
Haven’t slept with anyone in years and that’s not a problem for you?
Do you never consider anyone “hot” or “sexy”?
Do you feel like you’re “straight by default”?
When people talk about sex, is it almost like they’re speaking a foreign language?
Are you more interested in sex as a scientific curiosity than a recreational activity?
Is your right hand all the sex life you need?
Ever feel like you’re supposed to like sex because everyone else does?
Have you ever been asked who you think is hot and needed to make up an answer?
Does sex feel like a sport you’re not a fan of?

If you answered “yes” to any of those questions…
You are not broken. You are not alone.
You may be asexual.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation.
It is not a disorder. It is not a disease.
It’s just the way we are.

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5 thoughts on “Is Sex Not Really Your Thing?

  1. So, I had a girlfriend two years ago (I’m a girl) and she kind of had to push me into having sex. It wasn’t that I didn’t necessarily want to, but that it doesn’t feel comfortable or right for me. When we had sex the first few times, it was awkward and I never really….enjoyed it? But she did, and I really liked that she did, and I was happy to continue having sex with her because I liked being close with her like that, and because she really liked doing it. But, since then, I have had zero interest in having sex with anyone else again (and I didn’t until she pushed me into it). I’ve read a lot about it, and have decided that I’m probably asexual. Regarding that, I have a question. If I liked having sex with her (despite it not being because I felt physical pleasure), and would probably do the same if I got to that point with a different partner, am I still asexual?

    • Yep, you can still be ace. Some asexuals engage in sex and some even enjoy it. Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. Nothing more, nothing less.

  2. My brother asked me one day if I was asexual. I didn’t know what that meant at the time, but a few years later I read a magazine article about people who called themselves asexual. Then I knew.

  3. I came out as pan and I can appreciate beauty, I do feel attracted to people but when I look at someone pretty or beautiful I don’t feel the “constant” urge to get sexual and when I think about “it” I feel guilty.

  4. I just recently learned about some terms: fictophilia, fictoromantic & fictosexual. Wow! I know I’m asexual & aromantic, yet I feel like I could be fictoromantic too. At 40 years old, I’ve only ever had squishes (crushes) on fictional characters. Hopefully this can help someone else.

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