An Asexual’s Guide To … Female Masturbation

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The techniques and details described in this post are not the only way to masturbate.  They’re not the “correct” way or the “best” way.  They may not even work for you.  They’re provided as a base upon which you can experiment and learn what works for you.

Okay, so, I’ve got a clitoris and I want to try masturbating.  How do I go about doing that?

First, note that the question said “clitoris” and not “vagina”.  This is because your clitoris is generally where the action is at.  It’s typically very difficult, if not impossible, to reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone.  The vagina just isn’t that sensitive.  So, if you’ve been unsuccessfully attempting to masturbate by penetrating or stimulating your vagina, and haven’t involved your clitoris at all, then stop.  Take your fingers out.  Move them to your clitoris.  Now try rubbing there for a bit.  If you give that a shot, you may find that you don’t even need to read the rest of this post.  (That’s not to say that your vagina is completely useless while you masturbate, many people do find vaginal penetration to be a useful addition while masturbating, but it almost always takes a back seat to clitoral stimulation.)

Second, if you’ve ever seen masturbation in porn, forget pretty much everything you’ve seen.  It’s probably all lying to you.  Most of the time, “female masturbation” in porn is the fictional representation of what the stereotypical horny straight dude wants to believe is masturbation.  It’s typically a carefully scripted and staged penetration-based fantasy that bears very little resemblance to how people actually masturbate.  It might be good for a show, but it’s not generally good if you’re actually looking to have an orgasm.  (Speaking of which, if the “masturbation” porn video even bothers to show an orgasm, which they rarely do, it’s almost certainly fake, too.)

In any case, the real first step is to get ready.  Find a comfortable and safe position, where you’ll have enough time to experiment and try things out without being disturbed.  This can be a bed, a chair, a bathtub, a shower, or wherever else.  Lock your door if that would make you feel more comfortable.  You may want to have a towel nearby so you can easily clean up afterward.  You might even want to sit or lie on the towel so that it’ll soak up any wetness there might be. (If you’re in the shower or tub, then it’ll all just wash down the drain, so you don’t have to worry about that.)  Finally, you may want some sort of lube to help things along.  Your vagina may end up producing enough to use on its own.  Saliva would also work  However, if you want a little artificial help, then a lube specifically designed for sexual activity (typically called “personal lubricant”) is your best bet.  Stuff like hand lotion, Vaseline, or baby oil typically have substances that could potentially lead to vaginal infections (not to mention that they’ll destroy latex condoms), so you should probably avoid them, and soap or shampoo may seem slippery, but they’ll dry you out and may irritate your sensitive bits.

Oh, and make sure your fingernails are nice and trimmed.  You don’t want to accidentally cut anything down there.

All the prerequisites are taken care of, it’s time to get down to business.  The most common and most straightforward way to masturbate is to use several fingers to rub circles on your clitoris repeatedly until orgasm.  That’s the technique I’m going to explain here.

For this to work, you’re going to need access to your clitoris.  I’d suggest taking off your pants and underwear, so it’s all out there and freely reachable.  Or if you want, you can simply reach into your underwear and do it entirely inside your pants.  Of course, it’s also possible to rub your clitoris through your clothes.  Some people prefer this way, since they find more direct clitoral stimulation to be too intense, and this method has the added benefit of keeping all the fluids away from your hands.

It’s probably going to work a lot better if you’re aroused before you start going at it full speed.  Arousal is where your clitoris fills with blood and peeks out of hiding and your vagina starts lubricating itself.  At this point, most other resources will direct you to “Think of that hot guy in accounting” in order to get aroused, but since you’re here, I’m assuming you’re ace, so that’s probably not going to work so well for you.  That means you’ll need to get one some other way.  Of course, you might already be ready from reading this far and anticipating what’s next.  Awesome, you’re ready to go!  Then again, you may already know how to get turned on, in which case, proceed.  Or, you can always wait until you become aroused naturally for some reason.

However, in many cases, you might have to help the kitten start purring when you want to use it.  Here’s a few things you might try to get you up and running.  Feel free to mix and match these techniques.  If one doesn’t work on its own, it might work with the help of another.

  • Touch or rub your vulva.  This may seem rather obvious, but it’s often effective.  Don’t just poke at it, though.  Cup your hand over the area, press against it, and start rubbing around in circular motions or side to side or front to back.
  • Caress your stomach or inner thighs.  Try focusing on other areas around your vulva.  Those regions are often fairly sensitive and may send a wake-up signal to your equipment.
  • Apply pressure to your vulva or your clitoris.  Press against it with your hand.  Tuck your leg up so that you sit in a way that your heel presses against your clitoris.  Or sit or kneel over a pillow or bunched up blanket that is pressing against you.
  • Tense or clench your genital muscles.  Try tensing the muscles that you use to hold back pee.  Clench and hold, or repeatedly tense and release.
  • Touch, rub, or pinch your nipples.  Your nipples may be a sensitive zone.  Touching them or pressing on them may trigger arousal.  Rubbing them or pinching them may also work.
  • Think about sex, look at porn, or read something erotic.  Yeah, you’re asexual, but this still may work anyway.  Don’t ask me why, I haven’t figured it out myself.
  • Use a vibrator.  If you run a vibrator near, but not necessarily directly on your clitoris, you might start to become aroused.

Okay, now that you’re ready to go, it’s time to get going.

At this point, pretty much anything that rubs around your clitoris over and over may eventually lead to an orgasm.  Some techniques are very effective, while others are a quick trip to carpal tunnel.  I’m going to describe one of the most common techniques.  Note that this is not the only way to masturbate.  There are many variations that you can do, so I’d encourage you to experiment and improvise in order to find out what works best for you.

Reach down and place a couple of fingers or the palm of your hand on your clitoris.  Press on it.  It should be enough that you can feel the pressure, but not so much that it feels like you’re going to crush your clitoris.  Start making small circles around your clitoris with your fingers and hands.  It should be a smooth, continuous motion, like a wheel going around.  Keep spinning these circles repeatedly.

You may find that your clitoris is too sensitive to be stimulated directly.  If this is the case, try rubbing the clitoral hood, instead.  The hood should slide over the head of the clitoris and provide a bit of a cushion.  If that’s still too sensitive, try applying the pressure to a wider area, or try placing a towel or blanket over your clitoris as you rub or try masturbating through your clothing.  It’s often the case that as you continue and get more into the experience, that more direct contact with your clitoris becomes tolerable, possibly even preferable.

If there’s too much friction or you want to try sliding around a bit more, try applying some lube.  Start with just a little bit, like a drop or two, because it’s always easy to add more, but harder to get rid of too much.  As I mentioned earlier, your vagina itself might be a good source for lube, otherwise saliva or an artificial personal lubricant would work.

As you continue to spin little circles, it should start to feel somewhat different downstairs.  It probably will start to feel good.  Varying the pressure you apply, the speed of the rubbing, the size of the circles, even how many fingers you’re using may all have an effect on how much pleasure you experience.  Everyone is different.  Some people like fast movement while others take it slow, but too fast may cause irritation and too slow may not be enough stimulation to keep yourself aroused.  Some prefer a lighter touch and others prefer more pressure, but too light and you won’t feel anything and too hard and it might hurt.  There’s no “perfect” speed or pressure, so you’ll have to experiment with what works best for you.

Okay, so, you’re circling round and round, and hopefully it’s starting to feel like you’re getting somewhere.  There’s a misconception that you won’t feel much of anything until all of a sudden, BOOM! Orgasm.  That’s typically not how it works.  It’ll probably start to feel good well before the orgasm, with a small surge of pleasure with every rotation.  You’ll start to get a feeling for which areas feel best, and you’ll start to focus on them.  You’ll probably start to adjust your speed and pressure to maximize the sensation.  Just keep at it like this.

Don’t worry about whether or not you have an orgasm.  You probably won’t have one the first time you masturbate.  Or first five times.  Or maybe even your first hundred.  Don’t try to force it and don’t feel discouraged if you don’t have one.  It doesn’t mean you’re broken, it doesn’t mean you’re frigid, it doesn’t mean you’re unable to have one.  More than likely, it just means you’re inexperienced.  So, just relax and keep doing what feels good and trying different things when something doesn’t feel good, and eventually, you’ll probably get there.  If it doesn’t feel like you’re getting anywhere this time, then stop for now, don’t sweat it, and try again later.

However, if it feels like you’re getting somewhere, keep going.  As you proceed, the pleasure will probably increase.  You may notice that your pulse and breathing have changed.  Muscles all over your body may start to tense up or shake involuntarily.  You may start to focus on the sensations and begin to tune the rest of the world out.  Eventually, you may feel like you’re climbing a hill or pushing against a wall, that’s there’s a sense that something is about to happen, if you can just get there.  You may even start to feel like you have to pee.  At this point, a lot of people become nervous and think that something’s wrong or that they’ve hit a dead end, so they stop masturbating.  Keep going, keep trying to get to the other side.  You may want to change the speed and pressure of your rubbing at this point.  A lot of people will go faster and press harder in an effort to get over that hill.  You’re not far off from the orgasm, so keep going.

In some cases, your vagina might pulse or twitch when you’re at this stage.  That’s not a sign that something’s wrong, it’s just your body preparing for what’s next.  This doesn’t always happen, though, so don’t worry if it doesn’t happen to you.

Eventually, all that repetitive circling you’ve been doing will pay off.  You’ll have a sensation that you’ve made it to the top of the hill and you’ll start coasting down the other side.  This is the orgasm.  Usually, there will be an intense surge of pleasure that lasts for several seconds.  Often, there will be a series of rhythmic muscular pulses in your vagina, kinda like a very strong heartbeat.  These pulses are often accompanied by a surge of pleasure.  They’re roughly a second apart at the start, but they slow down and become weaker with each passing pulse.  You can have from one to over ten of these pulses, but generally you’ll probably have somewhere between 3 and 7 of them.  In some cases, a small amount of fluid will also be expelled from the vagina.

Your first few times, an orgasm may feel more weird than good.  You’ve got muscles moving on their own in ways you’re not used to, you’ve got sensory input you’ve never had before, and maybe you even have strange liquids being expelled from your body.  You may even feel slightly nauseous.  It’s almost a guarantee that it won’t be a mind-blowing, world-shaking experience and it probably won’t be the best feeling ever.  More than likely, you’ll get used to the sensations of orgasm over time and it’ll start to feel better as you go along.

After you orgasm, you’ll probably feel deeply relaxed.  All the tension that had built up while you were climbing that hill has been released.  At the same time, it’s possible that your clitoris has become very very sensitive.  Trying to continue stimulating it can be unbearably intense.   Even a light touch might be uncomfortable.  You can let go of yourself at this point, but you may also enjoy the feeling of simply resting your hand on your vulva (without moving anything) for a while afterward.  During this time, you’ll gradually lose your arousal and clitoral erection and your heart rate and breathing will return to normal.

Most people will stop at this point.  In many cases, everything downstairs will want to take a bit of time to recharge.  In some cases, however, you may feel like continuing onto a second (and maybe even third and fourth…) orgasm.

In any case, that’s just one of many ways that you can masturbate.  As I’ve been saying all along, don’t be afraid to experiment and try other things.  You’re the only person who can know what works best for you.

tl; dr:  Spin little circles on your clit until you come.

What about the vagina?

It’s a misconception that the vagina is the primary source of sexual pleasure.  This misconception leads many people to think that they’re physically incapable of sexual pleasure and orgasm, because they don’t get much out of vaginal penetration.  When I ran a series of questionnaires to gather information for these posts, several of the responses said something similar to this:  “When I was young, I tried masturbating.  I dipped a few fingers in, didn’t feel anything, got bored and gave up.  I feel like I’m broken down there.”

It’s disheartening to see things like that.  It’s disheartening to know that things like that are not an isolated incident.  Many people feel that way.  And it’s not just some kind of sheltered asexual belief, many people who aren’t even remotely asexual think their parts don’t work because they don’t get much out of vaginal stimulation.  It’s a failure in how we talk about sexuality and bodies and how everything is arranged that leads to this.

Sure, it seems like your vagina should be the center of good feelings, given that it’s a fairly notable feature downstairs and since it plays an important role in sexual intercourse.  And so much porn is dedicated to vaginal penetration, I mean, it’s gotta be what important, right?  But in reality, it’s not all that sensitive.  The main source of pleasure is tucked away in your clitoris, that often overlooked nub at the edge of the vulva.  That’s not to say the vagina is completely numb.  Vaginal penetration can feel good, but it’s often not enough to reach orgasm.

However, it certainly can enhance the sensations while you masturbate, and there’s nothing wrong with vaginal penetration, if that’s what you want.  In some cases, while you masturbate, you might even feel an urge to have something inside you.

If you decide to explore penetration, there are a few things to keep in mind.  First, if you’re using your fingers, clip your nails!  Sharp nails and folds of skin can lead to cuts, and cuts can lead to infections, and infections never lead anywhere good.  Second, don’t put anything in there that shouldn’t go in there.  Things you might find around the house that might seem like they’d fit are probably not a good idea.  They might have hidden sharp edges or be home to all sorts of bacteria looking for a new home.  (And they might belong to someone else, which would just be rude…)  Use your fingers or something like a dildo or vibrator.  Start small, and work your way up.  It can be uncomfortable or even painful to put something in your vagina.  You don’t even need something all that big to get some added sensation, often just a couple of fingers will do.  And finally, don’t rush in!  If you try to go in before your vagina is ready, it’ll probably be an unpleasant experience.  Wait until you’re warmed up a bit and your vaginal walls have started to lubricate themselves.  If there’s not enough lubrication, some saliva or personal lubricant should help with that.

What you do once you’re in there is up to you.  You might enjoy moving your fingers (or whatever) in and out repeatedly.    How deep you go or how shallow you stay and how fast or how slow you go is entirely up to your preference.  You might just simply leave your fingers motionless and enjoy the feeling of fullness.  You might want to explore and try to find your G-spot.  (More about that later.)  Or, you might decide that penetration really isn’t your thing after all and take your fingers out and never look back.  Many people don’t get much out of vaginal penetration and don’t include it when they masturbate.

What if I don’t want to touch myself?

If you’re not a fan of direct contact with your genitals, you can try wearing a glove while you masturbate.  You can also try masturbating with clothing or something else between your hand and your vulva.  In either case, you can still use pretty much any technique as you otherwise would, including the circles method outlined above.

If that’s not your cup of tea, you can try using toys.  Many dildos and vibrators are long enough that you can stimulate your clitoris with them, but keep your hands well out of the way.

Running water is often an effective hands-free masturbation technique.  Turn on the bath faucet, adjust the temperature, then scoot up and let the water fall onto your vulva.  If you have a hand held shower head, you can use that to direct a spray of water directly at your clitoris.  And I’ve heard good things about Jacuzzi jets.

And if you don’t want to use hands at all, you can try grinding against something.  Grinding is when you press your vulva against something so that there’s pressure on your clitoris, then rock your hips back and forth to stimulate yourself.  This rocking motion should change the pressure point.  You can grind against something like a pillow or bunched up towel or blanket, or against a piece of furniture or something similar.

Sitting on a running washing machine may work.  The strong vibrations have been known to get the job done.  (The same is true of driving on a bumpy road.)

You can try simply squeezing your thighs together repeatedly, as well.  This action can stimulate your clitoris, and doesn’t require using anything else in the process.

What if I don’t like fluids?

Many of the techniques described above about masturbating without directly touching yourself can help here, as well.  They all keep your hands away from the fluids.  In particular, the techniques involving running water will do a pretty good job of washing away anything that might happen.

It’s possible to do it while wearing a pad.  The pad should catch all of the fluids since, you know, that’s kinda what they’re supposed to do.

Are the fluids harmful?

No, your vaginal lubrication is not harmful to you in any way.  It’s perfectly safe to touch it.

What about toys or other implements?

Masturbation toys, also called sex toys, are a way to enhance or alter your masturbation experience.  You can use them in addition to or in place of another masturbation technique.  Some toys won’t get you to orgasm on their own, but they can potentially increase the pleasure.  There are far too many types to talk about all of them, so I’m just going to cover a few of the common ones.

  • Vibrator:  A vibrator is wide term that encompasses any toy that vibrates.  You typically press the vibrator against your clitoris.  Some vibrators are designed for vaginal or anal penetration.  Most vibrators have adjustable speed or strength.  Many people say that they rely on the assistance of a vibrator to reach orgasm, and many people report that they did not think they could have an orgasm until they tried using a vibrator.  There are multiple types of vibrators.  Bullet vibes, where the vibrating motor is encased in a small egg are fairly popular.  Dildo vibes are the combination of a dildo and a vibrator.  The Rabbit is a type of dildo vibrator which has an arm that will stimulate your clitoris as it penetrates your vagina.  Then there’s the personal massager vibrators, which are typically larger, stronger, and are usually marketed as back massagers.  The Hitachi Magic Wand is a popular personal massager.  Some common household items with a vibrate feature can be used as a vibrator, too, such as electric toothbrushes, cell phones, and video game controllers.  Just remember that’s not their primary use and also consider that it’s probably a bit rude and icky to use one of those if anyone else might want to use it for its intended purpose.
  • Dildos:  A dildo is a generally somewhat cylindrical toy that is designed for penetration.  Sometimes a dildo may have a vibrator inside it, and sometimes a dildo might be designed to resemble a penis.  (I think technically a dildo is a featureless non-vibrating penetrative toy, a dong is a non-vibrating penetrative toy that resembles a penis, and a vibrator is any kind of toy that vibrates.  But those distinctions typically don’t matter.)  You use it by inserting it in your vagina (you may need lube), or by applying generous lube and carefully inserting it in your anus.  You may choose to move it in and out, or you may wish to simply leave it there.  Vaginal or anal stimulation rarely leads to orgasm on its own, but it often will enhance the pleasure of masturbation.  Some dildos are designed for G-spot stimulation and will have a curve or a knob that makes it easier to stimulate that area.  Some dildos have an arm or an extension that is designed to stimulate your clitoris as you use it, like the Rabbit.  In some cases, you may use a dildo strictly for clitoral stimulation by rubbing it externally, without any vaginal penetration.  (If trying one in the back door, be sure to only use toys specifically designed for anal penetration, which typically have a ridge to prevent the whole thing from going inside.  Also, take note of the size.  Many dildos are designed for vaginal penetration, so they can be fairly large and using them in your anus can be very uncomfortable and unpleasant.  Anal penetration can also be a bit messy, so be prepared to clean both the toy and yourself when you’re finished.  And, this is important, don’t use a toy vaginally after you’ve used it anally, until it’s been well cleaned, or there’s a risk you’ll transfer bacteria you don’t want living in your vagina.)
  • Handheld Shower Head:  If you have one of those detachable handheld shower heads on the end of a small hose, you can direct the spray toward your clitoris, vulva, or perineum.  Adjust the spray pattern and water temperature to find what works best.  In some cases, you may find that a direct spray at a specific spot works, while other times it may be more effective to sweep the spray across your genitals.  The handheld showerhead has the added benefit of not being seen as a sex toy, so if you’re looking for something totally discreet, this is probably your best bet.  (Sure, some toys are marketed as back massagers, but anyone who recognizes it will know you’re probably not using it for lumbar pain…)

What’s the deal with the G-Spot?

The G-Spot is a somewhat hard, ridged area along the forward vaginal wall.  In some cases, stimulating this region in the right way can lead to an intense orgasm.  Many people report that an orgasm with the involvement of the G-Spot can lead to female ejaculation.

G-Spot stimulation should be considered an “advanced technique”.  If you’re just starting out, it’s best to get a little bit more experience masturbating before trying to include the G-Spot in your play time.  Otherwise it’ll just unnecessarily complicate things.  Even if you’re a veteran, you may not find G-Spot stimulation to be worth the trouble.

To find it, insert a finger into your vagina and feel along the forward wall (the side that’s closest to your front) for an area that feels different.  It’s probably a few inches inside.  Much of the vagina is soft and smooth, but the G-spot is harder and feels bumpy or ridged.  If you’re not a fan of using a finger for vaginal penetration, there are a number of toys that are designed for G-Spot stimulation.  These toys usually have a curved shape that will press against the G-Spot when inserted, although you’ll have to rely on sensation to know you’ve found it, rather than touch.

G-Spot stimulation generally consists of rubbing while pressing against it.  G-Spot stimulation alone might not be enough for an orgasm, so you may want to use your clitoris at the same time.  As with the clitoris, the amount of pressure and the speed of rubbing will likely affect how it feels.

Not everyone responds to G-Spot stimulation in the same way.  Some people don’t see what the big deal is.  Some people find it uncomfortable to touch.  Some people may not even have a G-Spot.  (In fact, some people don’t believe it really exists at all…)  So, if you’re having trouble finding it, or you’ve found it and you’re not really impressed by what it does, don’t worry about it.

What’s the deal with female ejaculation?

First, it’s important to note that if you’ve ever seen this in a pornographic video, it’s less likely to have been an actual instance of female ejaculation and more likely to have been an instance of peeing on cue.

Ejaculation should be considered an “advanced technique”.  If you’re just starting out, it’s best to get a little bit more experience masturbating before trying to ejaculation in your play time.  Otherwise it’ll just unnecessarily complicate things.  Even if you’re a veteran, you may not find ejaculation to be worth the trouble.

Female ejaculation is where a small amount of fluid is pumped out of the urethra during orgasm.  It’s different than lubricating fluid being pushed out of the vagina by the orgasmic contractions and it’s not urine.  The ejaculation fluid is typically whitish and somewhat thick.  The most common way to cause ejaculation is to stimulate the G-spot to orgasm.

Some people say that an ejaculating orgasm is more intense or pleasurable than an orgasm without ejaculation.  Some people don’t see much difference.  Some people intentionally try to ejaculate, while for other people it just happens unintentionally during orgasms occasionally.

Ejaculating is not an easy thing to do.  There’s no 100% guaranteed trick to make it happen.  Many people try repeatedly with no luck.  It may not even be possible for some people to do.  Even people who can do it aren’t able to do it all the time.  If you try and don’t get anywhere, don’t worry about it.  It shouldn’t be something you feel like you have to be able to do.

Can I have multiple orgasms?

Possibly.  In some cases, after an orgasm, you might be able to continue stimulating yourself and have another orgasm (or two or three or …).  If your clitoris becomes hyper-sensitive following orgasm, you might have to wait a short while for the sensitivity to die down.   Strengthening your PC muscles by doing Kegel exercises might make it easier to have multiple orgasms.

Not everyone can have multiple orgasms, not everyone wants multiple orgasms, and not everyone who can have them wants to have them every time.  There’s no scorekeeping in masturbation.  If you’re fine with one orgasm, that’s great.  If you want to shoot for double digits, that’s great, too.  And if you don’t even want one, let alone more than one, even that’s great. The important thing is that you do what you want to do and not what you feel like you’re supposed to be doing or what you think other people are doing.

A lot of people wonder, “If you can have multiple orgasms, how do you know when to stop?”  The answer is that you know it’s time to stop when you don’t want to keep going.

What other things can I try?

The vulva isn’t the only body part that you can use while masturbating.  Try touching or pinching your nipples and caressing your breasts, or try rubbing your thighs, stomach, or chest.  All of those places, and more, can enhance the experience.

Some people enjoy anal stimulation.  You can try rubbing the opening, or gently push a well lubed (and well-manicured) finger inside.

What if it doesn’t feel good?

If you’re first getting started, it might not actually feel all that good.  You’ll probably have to try a couple of times before you start figure out what works for you.

If you’ve been at it for a while, but still nothing, shake up your technique a bit.  Switch hands, try using lube, try a different position, try using a toy, go faster or slower, press harder or lighter.  And remember, there’s no cookie-cutter way to masturbate.  What works for someone else might not work for you.

If you’ve tried it all and it still doesn’t feel good, then maybe it just won’t.  .  If it bothers you, you might want to consult with a doctor.  There may be a treatable medical reason for why it doesn’t feel good.  (Notably, it’s a side effect of many medications.)  However, if you’re cool with it, don’t worry about it.  You don’t have to masturbate or have orgasms to survive, so don’t worry about it.  It’s not your thing, but it doesn’t have to be your thing.

Are there any dangers or warnings I should know about?

  • This post has been written specifically about solo masturbation.  There are numerous health and safety concerns that would potentially need to be addressed if you’re doing anything I’ve mentioned here with someone else.  Most notably, there are countless disease prevention (and in some cases, pregnancy prevention) steps you would probably want to take that I have not mentioned here.
  • Make sure your vagina is adequately prepared before inserting anything.  Often, your natural wetness will be enough, but if it’s not, use an artificial lube.  If you attempt penetration without proper lubrication, you could irritate your skin and it may be uncomfortable or painful.
  • Don’t stick anything in your vagina that wasn’t meant for it and clean whatever you put in there before and after you use it.  The skin is soft and sensitive and any sharp or rough edges could cause painful and awkward cuts.  (In particular, cut your fingernails!)  And if you’re using something that’s not quite clean, then you run the risk of infection, because bacteria love the warm, moist environment.  This is why it’s a very bad idea to use anything (toy, fingers, etc.) in your vagina immediately after using it in your butt.
  • Watch what you use for lube.  Shampoo and soap might seem nice and slick, but it can severely dry out the skin or cause a rash.  They also may get into the urethra, where they’ll burn.  Hand creams and Vaseline and baby oil can all disrupt the natural cleansing action of the vagina and lead to infections.  Additionally, some creams contain a “medicated” tingling or warming feature.  It might feel good on a sore back, but the sensation could be excruciating on your genitals.  (Then again, that one’s up to individual preference…  Some people like how it feels…)  It’s best to use a personal lubricant specifically designed for genital use.
  • Inserting an object in your anus carries the risk of it getting stuck.  Save yourself an embarrassing visit to an emergency room and only use items that can’t get pulled completely inside and “lost”.  Many anal toys will have a ridge or tab to prevent them from going all the way in, or they’ll have a string attached to easy retrieval.
  • Make sure anything entering your anus is smooth and well lubed, and don’t force it in.  In particular, cut your fingernails!  A long fingernail might cut the inner lining, which can be unpleasant and runs the risk of infection.  Inadequate lubrication might cause irritation or tearing.
  • NEVER do ANYTHING that forcibly cuts off your airway while masturbating.  People have actually died from doing that.  You can hold your breath, but leave it at that.  Besides, taking long deep breaths can actually increase the sensations more than holding your breath will.
  • If it hurts, stop!  You’re probably doing something wrong.

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3 thoughts on “An Asexual’s Guide To … Female Masturbation

  1. i dont have any toys, electric tooth brushes, or shower head nozzles that can detach. PLEASE HELP! technically i own a small vibrator, but it wont charge and work anymore. any household items i can use?

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