Q:Hi, I’m an ace female and I was just wondering how do you respond to people when they say thing like you’re wrong for not liking sex or you’ll like it when you’re older or when you’ve found the right person?
“You’re wrong for not liking sex”: For me, it’s not a dislike, it’s a disinterest. I’ve had sex before and I just didn’t see what was so great about it. I found it rather boring, actually. I felt emotionally disconnected from the whole process. Physically, yes, it did feel good, but I can get many of the same sensations through masturbation, without the boredom or disconnected feeling. And sure, I’ve only done it a handful of times (intercourse twice, and activities that may or may not meet your definition of “sex” a few more times) and all with the same person, so I don’t have a wide range of experiences to draw this conclusion from. But there was nothing in what I’ve done that made me think, “You know, I could really get into this.”
“You’ll like it when you’re older”: I’m 35. When is this magical transformation supposed to happen?
“When you’ve found the right person”: Many people, when they talk about their experiences, say that they feel sexually attracted to multiple people every day. That celebrity, this grocery store clerk, that person on the bus, this person in the accounting department. It’s there, even if they’re never going to act on it or even have the opportunity to, it’s just there. And so, with all the people I’ve seen in my life, and no one’s triggered that, what’s the likelihood that anyone ever will?