How Old Do You Have To Be To Know You’re Asexual?

Old enough to say “I’m asexual”.

There’s no minimum age for asexuality, just like there’s no minimum age for any other sexual orientation.  You never hear anyone say “Well, you’re only 15, so just to be safe, you might want to give it a few more years to see before you rule out bisexuality.  You never know when some hot guy might catch your eye!”  That would be ridiculous.

Presumably, by the time someone is at the point where they’re comfortable with identifying as asexual, they’ve spent some time thinking about it.  They’ve gone through the process of realizing that they’re different from their friends and wondering why they’re not as interested in sex as everyone else around them.  They’ve spent long hard hours questioning themselves, trying to figure out who they are.

57 thoughts on “How Old Do You Have To Be To Know You’re Asexual?

  1. Read several of your posts so far, and thank you so much for creating this archive! Your posts encourage me and help me a lot.
    ~17 y.o. girl who struggles w/ (a)sexual identity

  2. I found this website a couple months ago while trying to figure out my sexuality. I had had one boyfriend and he was always going on about sex, and I just didn’t see the appeal. My friends told me that that was normal, he was just a hormonal teenage boy and I wasn’t, but it didn’t fit right. Everyone else around me was comfortable talking about sex and saying “dude I would totally bang him/her” and I’m just like “…what? Why? That seems so painful…?” Now while I am really young (15) I still feel vastly different about sex than the rest of my friends. It is because of your website that I have been able to get through these past few months, which were filled with self-doubt and always being told that I just am too young to be saying I might be asexual. So just…Thank you

    • Julia, I feel for you hun. I myself am extremely confused with my aromantic/asexual feelings. Trying to even being to explain this to my school friends is so hard (15 y.o also) and it’s so comforting to know that there are other people walking the same road. The age things is such a big problem, but if you feel like this is who you are don’t let anyone make you feel like suppressing it. Or “coming out” either. I myself have kept most of the people I know in the dark, purely because I don’t feel the need to. I don’t want to stand out for my feelings about fucking and i don’t think anyone does.

      Sorry for the whole speech thing, but I know what its like. I myself tried to explain to my close friends and they shrugged it off, saying I wouldn’t know till I tried. I hope people won’t do that to you. Thank you for showing me Im not alone, I hope i did the same.

      • Omg I experienced the same ,also 15. I tell myself that I’ll just keep it to myself because it’s so tiring to explain and they will still not get it, some are not interested because they think it’s weird or some are interested but they don’t understand and might even say they r ace when they r the literal opposite. For me it’s just really tiring to explain all the time. So I just don’t tell.

    • Thank you guys so much for talking about this. I am in the EXACT SAME situations as you guys, and I am always filled with doubts for reasons including(but not limited to) society, peer pressure, and the fact that my parents don’t even think that asexuality is a thing. They are very accepting of the idea of LGBT and believe that all people should be treated equal, but even if I said that I was a lesbian, they would tell me that I was “too young to know” and “these things are complicated” and “someday you’ll know when you find the right person, but right now you’re not done blooming”(actual quotes from conversations where I suggested my asexuality). For so long I had though that I was weird or broken because the thought of touching or sex made me feel so uncomfortable. I would see a boy and be like, “What should I be feeling right now and is he thinking about sex and some day am I going to have sex with a boy like him and now I am extremely aware of how babies are made and how should I feel and OH CRAP HE LOOKED AT ME!” I just see someone and I don’t want to kiss them but I want to be their friend and have an extremely close bond, is there something wrong with me because I just want a really good friend?Anyways I found out about asexuality from my bisexual friend and now I’m just trying to figure myself out. I really appreciate everyone being able to talk about their feelings on here.

      • No it’s perfectly normal and I feel the same way. Most of my friends gush about boys and talk about them and all that good stuff but most people just feel the need to connect with someone and form a bond with them. Like a really awesome best friend

      • Thank you so much for posting that comment, I’m glad others understand and have the same feelings. Always wondered why I never got the “butterflies in my stomach” when I saw a “hot guy” and I’ve always felt slightly awkward when asked by my friends if there were any “cute boys” in my classes.

        I also found the word for the intense friendship urge (don’t worry I get that too) it’s called a “squish”!

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    • I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’m fourteen and I’ve just found the term asexual. There’s all these people on about how they were 18/19/early 20s and I’m just like “I’m fourteen….”
      I’m not 100% sure what I am yet though, I know I’m not cis and I’m not straight (or gay). I’m definitely under the ace umbrella somewhere…

      • I’m 14 also, it’s nice to see I’m not the only one, I worry that I’m going to fast and that I might just be to young , but I don’t know

        • I’m also fourteen and I have not felt any sexual attraction, and maybe I will feel it later, but I think most fourteen year olds feel sexual attraction, right? It’s really hard to get people to talk to me about stuff like this.

          • I’ve found the exact same thing, I’m the same age and I’m not sure if later I’m going to feel sexual attraction, like, maybe I just haven’t found the right person yet? But I also find it hard to get people to talk to me about it. It’s like, do I just go up to my friends and be like, “So, do any of you guys wanna bang someone yet?” I’m glad to know there’s other people who find the same thing :)

          • This describes just how I feel right now… I’m so confused with myself and I can’t decide if maybe I’m just too young to be trying to figure myself out… But I know that there is no age limit for this kind of thing- I’m just not sure, but I am glad to know that there are people out there like me :3

    • I am also 13 (almost 14) and this site made me feel a lot better. I know I’m young but I know who I am and what I’m not interested in. I’ve been told I’m “still young,” and to “give it a few years,” but I know in my heart that I’m asexual. I’m not interested in sex. I fantasize about holding hands with or hugging my crush. That’s the extent my brain can comprehend. I’m not curious or aroused by sex scenes on tv, I feel nervous and uncomfortable.

      • Same! People talk about sex 24/7 and I can barely cope with hugging someone in a romantic way leg alone anything else, holding hands was horrific and I learnt the term asexual last year and somehow it just kind of clicked in my head

      • i really appreciate this thread. i’m turning 16 really soon and i’ve been struggling with the idea that i might be ace. and it sucks because i’m not just ace, but i’m also feel like i’m a lesbian. i always thought i was straight, until 8th grade when i developed a crush on this girl in my science class. since then, i realized that i had been picking guys to have crushes on instead of naturally feeling an attraction towards them. once i started 9th grade i started to desire a relationship with another girl. it was around this time that i began wanting my first kiss (also with a girl). looking back, i feel like that i was pretty late in developing the desire to kiss someone, so i’m hoping that it will be the same thing with sex. literally nothing i’ve tried arouses me: smutty fanfiction, porn, masturbating, and so on. my closest friends are all a year older than me, and they constantly talk about sex, whether it be having sex, being horny, or listening to a podcast about sex. i try to tell myself that maybe when i’m a year older, i’ll feel the same way my friends do, but i’m just scared that i won’t. the thing is, i like reading fanfics or watching anything with w/w relationships, i just heavily prefer the romantic non-sexual stuff like cuddling/kissing/holding hands. i’m really scared that i will never have a relationship with someone because of the fact that i might be ace. idk what to do

    • Omg YES. I get you. Im 14, and I believe im Ace. I feel like it really fits me, but im super scared i’ll change later on??
      Gah, I dont know.

      • I think I am somewhere along the asexual spectrum, but I am 15 and have never been in a relationship. I don’t find the idea of sex particularly omigoodness!! Yeeep! or whatever, but I wonder if I am too young to have those types of sexual feelings. Ugh I just wanna know and be able to identify with a group and go on with my life!!

        • Oh my gosh same! I understand that so much. Ive been struggling for over a year with what the heck I am and it’s so confusing. I told my friends that I’m gay (im a girl) but that doesn’t sit quite right either because they say they experience really intense things and the most ive ever experienced is just having an extremely close emotional bond. I wish I could just find out exactly what I am so i dont have to think about it all the time while everyone around me talks about relationships and stuff. Can I just…Not??? lol

          • Yes yes yes… this is it.
            I’m almost 18 and I’m still worrying over if I “just need time”… I haven’t been in a relationship before nor do I want one, and while I have a few close friends we don’t talk about much and I have no idea if my peers know or have any romantic/sexual feelings so I don’t know who to talk to to see if I … fit in?

    • I thought I was the only 13 year old one . This helped me a lot. Oof now I just have to figure out what I’m going to do lol probably nothing. I feel like I’m to “young” to come out and know for sure but it’s just like uggh I do or I don’t. I thought it was just because I’m young that I didn’t feel anything or waiting for the right person kind of thing. But I’ve felt like this since I was like 5 or something when I first found out about porn. Wow I wrote a lot,

      • I’m going to be 40 in 6 months & I’ve known I was different forever. When I was a kid, I told everyone that I was never getting married. Maybe all kids say that at some point, but I was serious, and that thought never left me. When I was a teenager, I never dated & never wanted to, even if my friends asked me which guy I liked. I only like everyone as a friend. And now I’m 39. I’ve still never dated or been married. And in 6 months I’m going to have a 40 year old virgin birthday. It’s something worth celebrating & I don’t need to feel embarrassed about it. I’ll be posting on the cake section of the website. Good luck to all of you in your ace journeys!

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  5. Honestly, Im afraid about whether or not this applies to me. I’m 14, and I told my mom about feeling ace literally just a day ago, and her initial reaction was just ‘no’.
    We talked longer and it turns out she just misunderstood the definition but she still think of ne not to go around telling everybody, comparing me to another friend who came out as bi and basically made it a big deal and was a show off and kinda used it to get more attention. She also said that she was the same way until 16.
    All of this was really hurtful to me because I’ve always had issues with feeling inadequate and dumb and foolish/ feeling like a kid/ feeling like I’m doing things for show/ etc, and now she’s made me feel like I am rushing into things and that I never should have told her at all and that I’m just an idiot trying to make myself seem more interesting. This last part isn’t my intent at all (I diidnt even want to tell anyone other than Her and one close friend) but now I just feel ashamed and like I want to erase that conversation altogether.
    So I don’t know if I even should call mysrlf ace, or if I am ace, or if I’m going to grow out of it right away anyway.
    I didn’t really mean to dump all of my problems out here, I just wish I knew what to do.

    • Wow. We almost seem to be in the same situation. I have issues with my feelings and I get horribly confused with them. However, I’m almost certain I’m ace (though I have doubts once in awhile). I’m almost fourteen as well. I’ve told my best friend I’m ace and I can tell she doesn’t understand it, but she’s trying to be nice about it. I told my older sister and she’s said that I was too young. I am not a late bloomer. I have almost no sex drive and I’ve already had my period (I don’t know if you have periods or not). I’m no late bloomer nor is any other woman in my family. I know that I’m asexual. It just pisses me off when people tell me I’m fake. I have only told two people; my sister and my best friend. If I were you, I wouldn’t tell many people of your sexual orientation (whatever it may be) at the age of thirteen. Realize that your sexuality may possibly change. It might not. Now, asexuality means that you have no sexual interest in other people. Have you looked at a specific person and thought to your self, “That person is so hot I need to have sex with them?” If not, your asexual. You can still finding people beautiful and cute. You can have a desire to kiss people but have no sexual intention of it and still be aseuxal. Realize asexuality is a spectrum as well.. Have you only experienced sexual attraction rarely? Gray-a of gray-asexual would be the label for you. Have you developed sexual interest on people you know well like a close friend or best friend? Demisexual would be the label for you. You can call yourself asexual, even if you’re demisexual or gray-asexual. Also understand the difference between romantic, sensual, sexual, and aesthetic attraction. I used to think I was homosexual or bi until I learned what sensual attraction was. Whether you experience any romantic, sensual, asthetic, or sexual attraction, I’m not sure. Only you can decide for yourself what label you want/feel comfortable with (and you don’t have to label yourself at all). If you feel uncomfortable with a label, research online until you find one you feel comfortable with. You can be a sexual person but have no romantic attraction.You can have no romantic attraction (aromantic) and sexual and be very nice. You can have romantic feelings as an asexual and it can be of any label combination. For example, I researched and research until I found out I was a demi-homoromantic asexual. That means I’m asexual and I develop romantic feelings for people of my same gender but I need to know them well (like they have to be my best friend or a close friend). I decided my romantic orientation off of one crush. You can do that. This is long, but I’m saying research is your friend here. Look up the terms I mentioned on Google if you don’t understand them. Look up labels name and their meaning. Understand what a crush is, what certain attractions are, if there’s exceptions, etc. If you don’t feel comfortable with a label, keep researching until you find one that suits you. The label you choose can change and that’s fine. Being demiromantic/demisexual requires some observations and a little experimenting. You can be panromantic asexual and that’s fine! You choose what you label as. Good luck in finding your sexual orientation. It took me a year and a half to find a comfortable label but I found one. If you don’t want to share to, don’t. Best of luck. :D

  6. I’m really glad this post is here. It made me feel much better about calling myself ace. I just turned fourteen a few days ago, and I’ve been pondering my sexuality for about a year. I’ve been a bit different from my friends for a while, enough so that when a friend asked me who I thought was the hottest in a TV show we watched, I pointed at myself and said, “Think about who you’re talking to.” and we giggled and moved on.
    I really feel like I have a few friends who will understand, and definetely a family who will understand, since I have an openly ace sister, and I feel super lucky because of that.

    • UPDATE: A friend of mine came out to me as ace. I was so relieved, and I came out to her as well. It turns out she’d only heard the term in passing, so I referred her to this website and she said it helped her A LOT. So, thanks for making this awesome website!

    • Me, too. I’m turning 14 soon, and I’m lucky that, since most of my friends actually aren’t straight, they get that sort of thing (not that they wouldn’t understand as a straight person). I always found myself weird because, as I’m still only in middle school, everybody talks about crushes and vaginas, etc, but I’m just sitting there knowing I don’t feel any of those things and hate the thought of that. I don’t necessarily find sex itself gross, more like I know sex is necessary for reproduction, but I feel no need for anything to do with it whatsoever. Leave that to the other 7.4-ish billion people on this planet. I’ve only discovered asexuality existed recently, when my amazing English teacher, after hearing me talk to him about how I’m not exactly straight and not exactly gay, just sort of nothing in between, he told me about asexuality and suggested I research it myself. I’m so happy I did, because I finally found a place I belong.

  7. I’m thirteen and I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I don’t know if I’m asexual because I know I’m young but I don’t know how other people think and I don’t know if they think about sex yet. And it’s also confusing because I do like people and I’d be fine kissing them but I don’t really wanna have sex because it grosses me out. This page kinda helped because now I know that other people are in the same boat as me, but I’m still really confused

  8. I’m 14, and I’m very much confused at the moment. My friends talk about sex a lot, and I usually just roll my eyes at them, because it doesn’t interest me at all. And a couple of times it has ended with one of my friends going “You’re not enjoying the conversation! Are you asexual or something?” The first few times I just shrugged it off, but recently I just went “huh”, because now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been sexually attracted to anyone. Curious, I asked my friends, if given the chance, would they have sex with a person of their choosing. The answers ranged from “yes” to “I want to, but I don’t think I’m ready yet”. But I wouldn’t and I don’t even want to. I’ve experienced romantic attraction plenty of times (I’m quite sure I’m biromantic) and I’m very much into cuddling and kissing and all that jazz, but sex just seems very “meh” to me. I do find people aesthetically attractive, but I’ve never looked at someone and thought “wow, please do me” So, now I’m here. I’ve read some pretty resssuring things, and I think I might be ace after all, but I’ll have to give it some more thought. However, it’s nice to see there’s other people who feel the same way :)

    • I don’t really know if I am ace or not. I am also 14, but my friends don’t really talk about sex much. I read some smut and stuff in fanfiction but I can’t imagine being in one of those situations, it honestly seems gross to me. I’ve never really talked about this to anyone because I didn’t know and thought maybe I was just too young. I kinda stumbled upon the term asexual on accident but kinda felt like some fit. I also don’t know if I am straight either. I’ve been thinking about this for a while but can’t seem to decide what to do.

  9. This website is an eye opener. I at 35, after many doctor appointments and counseling sessions, have just recently stumbled across this. I had no idea this was even a thing! All I knew is I dont really care for sex at all to the dismay of my partner. I have spent so many years thinking I am broken. I really wish even one of the many doctors or therapists would have said “Hey, have you ever heard about this?” It would have saved so much stress and time.

  10. Honestly I’ve been looking into this for a while, and I seem to be asexual and if not I’m definitely graysexual. Yet for some reason, I still feel like I’m rushing into it just so I can say “oh I’m ace you know” but I suppose this does help me feel better

  11. I’m sure there’s a possibility I’ll grow out of this, I’m only fifteen, but I’ve felt strongly about this since I was a young child…….I just didn’t know there was a word for it. People were thinking it would “hit me” at some point, but years have gone by and whenevereserved anyone asks me who I think is “hot” or what I would want in a romantic partner, I have nothing. I keep telling myself that I’m still super young and people don’t develope those kinds of feelings until much later…….but it kinda hit me when I was thirteen turning fourteen and my friend just told me ” You know that normal people at your age are dating, right?”. I I was just thinking………..”what?”. Maybe I’m just a late bloomer, but I try to picture myself in a romanticouple or sexual relationship (not even now, but years down the road) and I just can’t. When I was 13, and I still didn’t know there was a word for Asexual, my mother took my to get inoculations for a sexual transmitted diseas. And I just said, kind of without thinking, “I don’t need it, I’m never going to have sex”. She replied something sarcastic about me being a “Virgin princess”, and I felt like an idiot. Sorry this is long.

    • I had similar experiences. My mother took me to some doctor appointments & the doctor had to give me a pregnancy test. The doctor was asking me, “you know how important this is, don’t you?”
      It was rediculious. I’m not pregnant. And then when the doctor came back with the test results, he said, “well, you’re not pregnant.”
      I said, “yeah, I know.”
      In 6 months now I’m going to be celebrating my 40 year old virgin birthday. You’re invited to read about it in the cake section of this website. I’ll be in there posting about it. Bring some cake to enjoy as you read. Being a virgin for so long makes me feel like an accomplishment. I’m glad to celebrate it & it’s not something I should be embarrassed about.

  12. I’m fourteen and asexual and I just came out to my mom the other day and she just said “You’re too young to know”, and “These things change”. I know that I have zero desire to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone. She also doesn’t understand the difference between asexual and aromantic. I still experience romantic attraction. Can someone give me some advice on how to help my mom understand?

    • I’m going to be a 40 year old virgin in 6 months. My mother has always accepted me & tries to understand, but I know some of asexuality will always be a mystery to her. For a while she thought that being asexual just meant not dating. I told her that the term that probably best describes me would be is aromantic. Then I defined it for her & defined asexuality to her. It’s a slow process, and I understand that some things will always remain in the dark for her. Good luck to you in your ace journey!

    • Hi guys. I’m also struggling with this. My parents don’t think it is a real thing and I’m not sure how to tell them that this is how I feel. I went a couple of years saying that it was just a phase but I’m not so sure anymore. My friends are different to me and I don’t really know what to do. Should I wait a bit more?

  13. I’m 16 and found out about asexuality from a friend who is ace. Upon further research, I realized I’m a heteroromantic asexual. I’m worried that coming out will look like I’m just trying to get with this ace friend I kind of liked in a sensual (not sexual) way. I also talked to my therapist about my asexuality and she said I shouldn’t worry about my future, but I would like to find a place I fit. I’m pretty sure I’m asexual, every crush I’ve ever had was a non-sexual crush, I don’t like the idea of sex at all, but I do wish I could be with somebody. Someone I could snuggle with and hug, but not have sex with. I was also raised by Christian parents and my mom says the typical, “you’re too young, wait until you find the right person, sex is a gift from God, etc.” I believe God did give people sex as a gift, but I don’t really want it. I just want answers. I plan on talking to my ace friend about it so hopefully that will help.

    • Just to clarify: I mentioned sensuality, if you look up the word sensual, it is paired with sexual pleasure, but that’s not the case for me. What I meant was sensual attraction instead of sexual attraction.

  14. I’m fairly young, thirteenish, and I am certain that I am ace. I feel wayyy too young to come out but my family is always commenting about how sex is a natural thing and that it’s weird for me to feel uncomfortable about it. They tease me constantly and act like I am four in terms of innocence. I understand a lot more than I let on but, I ignore it because I become increasingly uncomfortable when sex is brought up. I feel like maybe even hinting that I might be this way so that they may catch on would help me a lot.

  15. I’m 13 years old, and I really think I might be asexual. I’m just afraid I’m too young, or something like that. I do find people aesthically pleasing, but the idea of having sex with them grosses me out. I don’t want sex, but I’ve gotten a lot of physical changes from puberty, so it’s not like I’m just a late bloomer with puberty. I don’t know if people from my school do feel sexual attraction, but there are a lot of them that already talk about sex and a lot of them think people are ‘hot’ and that stuff. I’ve never even thought about that. In my heart I just know I’m Asexual, but I might be wrong? Am I too young to know?

  16. Hi guys. I’m also struggling with this. My parents don’t think it is a real thing and I’m not sure how to tell them that this is how I feel. I went a couple of years saying that it was just a phase but I’m not so sure anymore. My friends are different to me and I don’t really know what to do. Should I wait a bit more?

  17. Thank you for posting this. As a 15 yr. old who originally thought I was bi, I spent a while actually questioning my identity sexually. I’ve had crushes and relationships in the past, but none had ever made me feel a strong sexual desire. The thing that confused me was that I felt attraction to others and I’ve had the urge to kiss them, but when it came to anything more sexual than that, I felt uncomfortable and I still do. Seeing this post and all of the comments as well have made me feel more comfortable with who I am. I would always feel like I just hadn’t had a sexual awakening yet, as people would tell me. Deep down, I knew I just wasn’t into or comfortable with sexual things. I am now learning to proudly say that I am a biromantic asexual.

  18. Found this after searching “how old do u have to be to know ur ace” was feeling kinda sad and hoping to find a reassuring response. im glad this was the first search result.

    So I have never really even considered that I might be ace. However, I have always had the sneaking suspicion that i was lgbtq in some form, since my attraction to others felt kinda different from others. But despite this, I’ve always just assumed I was straight. Looking back, I now remember having a convo w/my friends where I told them i was scared that i was lgbtq, and that I didnt want to be because it would make my life more complicated, Hmmmm…
    For some months ive been really trying to figure ot my sexuality. But my attraction to people is a whole mess. (Now that im suspecting im ace, I really identify w/the aesthetic attraction thing) I have like one “type,” guys in general just seem kinda meh, and girls in general just seem kinda meh. It can be difficult to discern whether its actual aesthetic attraction, or just objective physical. (kinda like beauty standards telling u what u should be attracted to, which then kinda causes u to be attracted to it i think) anyways a few days ago, i forgot how it exactly occured, (I think i was trying to remember past attractions) but it popped into my head that “woah, it sounds like i might be ace.” I kinda laughed it off and shook my head. Then I thought about it and went “holy crap. I seriously might be ace. But im not sure… so im just gonna wait like a year and a half to see.”
    People around me dont really talk about sex that often, so i wanna wait until they do to see how i feel.
    But it was really nagging at me, i couldnt help but feel like I was faking it, like I just wanted to be involved in something. You see, I thought i was sexually attracted to people. But i realize now, that i had really just assumed. I would be like “oh yeah, sexual attraction, i have that! but i dont actually have any example of feeling that way…” I also used language that one who was sexually attracted to people might use to descirbe their sexual attractions. ex. i would call people hot. But thinking back, i would never really want to do anything sexual w/ them. I would call people hot when i though they were hot according to beauty standards and not what i was attracted to. These types of things made me think the possibility of me being ace was ridiculous. I dont really think of sex as gross. But i dont really think of it as an “i want that” thing. And whenever i think of sex, i think of it ideally not having to be w/or involve another person. my arousal exists, but not as attraction, and not about other people. This is oe of the biggest things that make me doubt my asexuality.
    Am i just overanalyzing my feelings and experiences in a biased way?
    Another fear i have is that the only reason I dont really want to have sex w/people is cuz of my RSD(RSD is like social anxiety, but based specifically on a fear of perceived rejection). Im scared that i only dont want to have sex w/ people because im “scared of people,” but now that i type that out, that fear just sounds stupid lol.
    Reading what everyone else has wrote here, and looking up a bunch of terms for attraction has really helped me here.
    I really beleive that im probably ace. My only doubt is that my ability to be aroused (but not by, w/, or having to do w/people/attraction) might make me not ace.

    ps. my wifi went out, but i (being a paranoid person w/spotty wifi) had already copied some of it. So i ended up retyping a lot of it. and while i retyped it i went through a lot of emotions. from blurring out all previous conclusions i made and being like “come one im being dramamtic, im obvi straight” to “your going to come out, and then be super sexually attracted to people when ur like 16 and then everyone will get mad at you” to “plenty, of ace people still get aroused, I know this because i have seen people talk about it before. in fact, the fact that i was able to beleive that i wanted sex, by disconnecting the arousal from the fact that it would hav eto be w/another person, kinda shows that im ace even more. because it shows very specifically that my problem w/ sex is it having to do w/ other peopl.” im actually much more confident that im ace. however, i still feel kinda like and imposter saying it. Oh! and i never thought i would be someone who was scared to come out to their parents, but…. here we are…

    thank you to everyone who posted. as you can see, i came here unsure of what i was, and can now walk away knowing. I will save the link to this site, so whenever i doubt myself i can come here.

  19. Hi, I’m a 14 year old girl, and I recently told my grandma that I might be asexual. But she just kept saying that I can’t really say that now and that I’m probably just too young and will like sex when I’m older. Even tho I told her that I don’t think I’m too young, I still had self doubt. I tried to ask people when you can know if you’re ace or not but I never got a clear answer. This helped, thank you!

  20. Hi! I’m 14. My parents (especially my dad) don’t believe (or don’t want to believe) that I am a repulsed asexual (I’m also biromantic but haven’t told them that yet)! My mom has acted supportive in the past week or so, but I’m pretty positive that she doesn’t really believe it behind my back. It might be my overly pessimistic brain, but I am also pretty good at detecting lies, so…
    My parents are very nice normally, really supportive, but sometimes they don’t realise that some words actually are leaving little scars all over me. Like, always when I wanted to do a Project and would tell them, my dad would try to make me do it differently and now I can’t really trust my dad with such things. Or when for the first time I told my mom and dad I was asexual, they laughed in disbelief and said that everything changes with time. Dude, the 11-year-old guys in my neighbors class are watching porn and girls my age send nudes. Like WHAT?! Also, I’m actually really proud to be a repulsed biromantic asexual. I can’t imagine how you can crave something such as sex. If you are too and see this, I would be glad to meet you. I don’t really know anyone like me. :D

  21. 15 year old girl here! I’ve been really concerned about not really getting crushes or caring about sex. I want to want things like that, but I just don’t. I keep telling myself that I’m “just late” or whatever, but everyone around me has already “figured themselves out” or at least feels some sort of attraction to other people, even if they haven’t figured out all the logistics yet. I probably sound stupid, but it seems like I’m jealous because I don’t think I’d be able to find someone who would not want to do sexual things and I want it to be easier to be able to do that or something. My mom acknowledges that asexuality exists, but she thinks that it probably doesn’t apply to me because I haven’t “done anything yet” or whatever.

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