AAW Day 2: Sex

I’m asexual.


I’ve had sex. It wasn’t a compromise.  It wasn’t solely for her pleasure.  It wasn’t to save the relationship.  It wasn’t a violation.
I did it for me.  I did it because I wanted to experience it.
On the whole, it was positive.  It felt good.  I liked it.


It wasn’t the mindblowing experience I was led to believe.  It didn’t sexually awaken me.  I didn’t start craving sex with every waking hour of my life.  I didn’t suddenly start to feel sexually attracted to her or anyone else.  I felt like I was acting.
That was nine years ago.  I haven’t had sex since.  I don’t miss it.


I’d do it again in the right circumstances.

3 thoughts on “AAW Day 2: Sex

  1. I’m somehow like you
    I never knew of asexuality, and I never got why girls wanted to have sex with their favorite super hot/attractive idol singer. I fangirled the same person I did (and still do) find him attractive but never wanted him in my bed.
    I got myself in a relationship when I was 23~24 he was everything I could ask for but sex was boring, and I had sex about 20 something times with him so it can’t be “first time sucks” “second sucks too” “well he doesn’t know what to do” “you haven’t found what you like yet” blah blah blah
    I believe 20 times are enough for a couple to realize at least what the partner likes or not.
    for me sex was boring, also my impression to it was exactly like yours: “what? that’s it? where is the rest? where is the mind blowing, where is the joy to that?”
    I realized then that something was kinda off, so the first thought was that I’m gay then I googled sexuality and read about every available description on wikipedia until I came across the term “Asexuality” the moment I start reading I was like: “that’s me THAT’S ME, THAT’S WHAT I FEEL!!!” :O

    just to be sure I did a brainstorming with myself about the most attractive and what a non- asexual would call “totally fuckable” females
    the thought of sex with them was equally boring as with males
    I would consider kissing a woman though just for the hell of it but I’m not sure I would like to try sex again.
    I totally sex positive when it comes to other people having sex, but the thoughts of me engaging in sexual acts makes me shiver a little.
    I’m really open about sex I even write sexual stories and I do more sexual jokes than my sexual friends :P
    of course I’m considered a pervert by them ahhaha

    I also know for sure that I am an aromantic, that I knew long before I had that relationship.

  2. Okay, this has been the most helpful thing I’ve ever come across! I’d never even heard of asexuality before I started asking the Internet why I wasn’t attracted to anyone but this has really helped. It’s given me a bunch of possible labels for myself and the knowledge that, even if I do have sex or masturbate or want to have a romantic relationship etc. that doesn’t mean I’m not asexual. The fact that there are shades of grey for it as well makes me feel a lot better about it.

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