Q: Since you discovered what asexuality was, and came to understand what it meant for you, have you ever felt conflicted about it? I read your answer earlier about having been in a relationship previously, it came across that you were okay with it ending, and you mentioned that it just didn’t fit right. I was just wondering if at any point you found yourself wishing that you felt differently, wishing that you wanted it, even though you were/are fine being single and asexual?
At the time that relationship ended, I didn’t know that I was asexual. In the following years, I did have the “Why don’t I care about sex/what’s wrong with me?” moments. Those episodes went away when I discovered asexuality, though.
Last year, however, in the situation with the prospective relationship that didn’t even start, I did sort of want to feel differently. Not really for my sake, though. Not like I felt broken or wanted to be different, but that I didn’t want to hurt her. I liked her, she was fun to be around, but I just wasn’t interested in a relationship, and I knew that was a disappointment, I knew that hurt her. I wished that could have been different.
I always wondered why I was different, but I wouldn’t change anything. I’ve had guys who were interested in having a relationship with me. It’s hard to tell them no, that I’m not interested. I don’t wanna hurt them.