Q:Hi, I’m an ace girl, and I’m wondering if there is more pressure on you to have sex because you’re a guy, or if people generally just tend to leave you to your business, as is my case.
In my case, there isn’t much pressure, but I attribute that more to being largely socially withdrawn. I’m not really in any situations where it would come up.
However, I do occasionally end up in the middle of a “Just Us Guys” kinds of conversations, where people will talk about who or what they find attractive, in a way that’s supposed to get agreement. (For example, “Did you see that waitress?”, followed by suggestive hand motions, or “Did any of you see those tight costumes those Olympic figure skaters were wearing? WOW!”) Those sort of conversations always make me feel awkward, because I’m expected to participate, but I have nothing to contribute. And then, I know that my lack of contribution will become the subject of another conversation behind my back later.
Once, after one of those sorts of conversations, someone spoke up “in my defense”, saying that “some people” are uncomfortable about those topics, as if I had some sort of religious objection. I wasn’t uncomfortable about the topic, I just had nothing to say. It’s a bit like when they go off and talk about cars. I remain quiet because I know nothing about cars, not because the discussion of carburetors makes me uncomfortable.